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Intent

addressing a profound need

The Church has spent far too long shrouded in the shadow of patriarchy, leaving women to endure countless generations believing they were created as an afterthought at best, or as mere servants to fulfill men’s bidding. This feminine journey offers an integrated path designed to empower women to rediscover and embrace the creative, powerful, and resilient energy that inherently resides within them. Patriarchy, with its one-sided perspective, has been stunted in its ability to learn from experience and mystery. It has overvalued cerebral learning, neglecting the richness of humanity’s other ways of knowing—through our hearts and our bodies.

Women have the innate ability to thrive in their own worlds when not sidelined by patriarchy. We intuitively understand how our bodies, emotions, and intellect work together to create a harmonious state of being. This understanding inspired me to develop my portals within a container of story and meditation—tools that guide us on journeys of healing and transformation. Storytelling is deeply rooted in our human nature, serving as a powerful way to connect with the world and with one another. Stories have the potential to liberate us from old, stagnant narratives built on falsehoods. Unlike facts and data, stories evoke emotional connections, reflecting universal human experiences that inspire empathy and open us to new perspectives.

Meditation, on the other hand, is a profound healer of both mind and body. Its greatest gift is the clearing of mental clutter, which unlocks levels of creativity and insight we might never have imagined. Together, story and meditation form a synergistic path to freedom, growth, and self-discovery.

I was drawn to the concept of portals because they represent a space between two realms—a point of transition or transformation that symbolizes entry into a new phase, experience, or understanding. I chose to use the term “portals” as a metaphorical gateway, inviting personal growth, healing, and discovery.

The first three portals explore the damage patriarchy has inflicted and continues to inflict on our society. They focus on what has been lost to women who have been subjugated for centuries, followed by an examination of what can be reclaimed. Through these portals, I offer an alternative narrative—one that challenges the story patriarchy has imposed and invites a fresh perspective on ourselves and our world.

The fourth portal, represented by a fountain, serves as an invitation for healing and release—an opportunity to let go of deep wounds, both those we recognize and those we may not have yet uncovered. This is the center of the garden and a fundamental point of transition.

The last three portals present the path forward, offering women a new way to embrace life with greater grounding, clarity, and purpose—when they are ready to step into this transformative journey.

My hope is that as women journey through the seven portals, surrounded by a space of beauty, they will awaken to a place they have never been before. This awakening will evoke a visceral response, allowing them to feel their worth at a deep, fundamental level—not merely believing they are beloved, but truly knowing it.

Beginnings

Welcome to the feminine journey of formation

Whether you identify as feminine or not, this is a place to discover, unlock, and reclaim parts of yourself that have been lost, latent, or devalued. As we will intuit on this journey together, all humans carry both feminine and masculine energies, and these energies need to be awakened, celebrated, and integrated. My purpose in writing this guidebook is to reveal the very opposite of what the Church and society usually tells us: that women are highly valued in God’s eyes and have a significant place in the making of our world.

In this guidebook, you will find seven chapters that correspond to seven portals, places of meditation and invitation toward healing and awakening. These chapters will reveal seven truths that speak to the heart of what it means to be centered in ourselves. There has been a myriad of ways in which femininity has been devalued, but these seven will give us an excellent start towards embracing our worth and dignity.

I want us to begin this journey by talking about three-centered awareness—a term used for integrating the three centers of your Self: your heart, your mind and your body. Our Western education system typically focuses on intellectual learning, but when we only focus on head knowledge, we leave out the other two major centers that have much to tell us. Aligning the wisdom of our minds with the intuition of our hearts, while grounding both within the presence of our bodies, leads to full consciousness.

Additionally, letting your emotions come to the fore and processing them together with your mind while noticing how your body is receiving this information is a powerful way to witness your own growth. As we have been learning of late, the messages our bodies send us are strong indicators of how we are feeling and even thinking. The reality is that we cannot truly know something until all three centers show up; the converse of that is it is possible to get trapped in one center so that we are receiving the information from only the emotions or the mind or the gut instinct.

Here is a remarkable practice I encourage you to do throughout your day and for the rest of your life: Become aware of all three centers and work on bringing then online with each other. Just stop to breathe in various times of your day and notice how your heart is doing, how your body is feeling, and where your thoughts are landing. This practice allows you to show up for your life… and for the lives of others. The best thing about this practice is that it brings forth your true self and lets you live authentically.

In that light I would suggest or invite you to read aloud the portal to yourself or, even better, read it to another person. There is something mysterious that happens when truth is spoken over us, like a sort of baptism or anointing.

The next seven chapters comprise a guidebook to help you engage in an interactive, embodied experience. The interactive part will be the portals themselves: I have placed the portals in a garden motif to create a beautiful, relaxing, meditative atmosphere for healing the feminine soul. The portals are drawn on a garden map at the end of the guidebook to give you a visual of what such an actual garden could look like.

Each chapter begins with a stunning and provocative image painted by a mystical artist, Meinrad Craighead who experienced a life-long adventure with the Feminine Divine. She painted seven Mystics, Women Saints, who lived lives of full engagement with their own belovedness, embracing their mystical union with Mother/Father God. You will be introduced to an image of one of these seven saints in each portal with one of their own quotes. Use them as a guide along this path of feminine formation, receiving the blessing of those who have gone before us as beacons of light and encouragement.

I also have a video to guide you through each portal’s meditation, utilizing the insights of each chapter and leading you to interact with the corresponding portal one at a time. Be sure to have a journal handy for the writing prompts in each chapter.

There is no prescribed way to engage with the portals. If you prefer to begin by reading and allowing the information to settle before stepping into the portals, follow that instinct. If lingering with a portal for an extended time feels right, honor that pace. Ultimately, this is your journey—engage with it in the way that resonates most with you. The key is not to rush but to allow a new formation to take root within you, creating space for awakening to unfold. Be at peace as you enter this transformational journey, knowing the Universe is waiting to show you many things.

Mother/God, Sophia, Holy Spirit, the Universe, Goddess, Mother Nature, and countless others are all feminine expressions of the Divine. The absence of female divinity in the dominant religions of the world does not negate her existence—in fact, it underscores her presence. This sacred journey invites you to encounter Sophia as a reflection of yourself; she mirrors you, and you mirror her. Our spiritual essence longs for its rightful place in the cosmic dance—a place that has always been here, waiting to be recognized and embraced.

Patriarchy and the Gnostics

Before we get started, we need to understand the historical context for what it means to be a woman in today’s world. In a word, patriarchy. If you look up this word you will see a definition like this: “a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.”[1] This is an accurate definition, but it is only the beginning of understanding the societal construct that has dominated the human story for thousands of years. Patriarchy has done more damage to our world than we could ever imagine; the complex ways in which it permeates every aspect of culture is mind blowing. The thing I want you to understand is that this definition does not speak to why women were excluded from power. The why is what we will uncover as we go forward. 

Next, I want to introduce you to what I believe is a powerful antidote to patriarchy, both religious and societal: the Gnostic gospels.

This might seem like a strange place to begin our journey together. At least it is an unfamiliar place for those of us who have occupied the traditional Christian environment. Intentionally vilified and hidden for millennia, the Gnostic Scriptures have much to teach us. They offer us important insights into the nature of God, ourselves, and our world. Before we go there, let’s open our minds to new thoughts and possibilities. If our old constructs have been hurtful and incomplete, we need new constructs to better illuminate the healing way of Christ.

The Gnostic gospels were written by Christian mystics during the same time period as the biblical gospels you are already familiar with, yet they describe a very different view of the human story. Some of their stories are unusual, even jarring, and I am not suggesting that they replace the canonical Scriptures. However, I am asserting that these Scriptures are also sacred, were written by genuine followers of Jesus, and offer amazing insights for us. Insights that provide a necessary corrective to traditional interpretations. Insights that can transform the way we think and feel about ourselves as women.

So why don’t we read the Gnostic Scriptures in church? What happened to them and why?

A History of Deception

The Gnostic writings were intentionally hidden from most of the Christian Church and, as you can imagine, it had to do with religious patriarchy and power. Let’s travel back to the early church of the second century, before Christianity became the official religion of Rome in 381CE. The organizing and structuring of the Christian community that began in Acts 6 is escalating, even while persecution also intensifies. The disciple Peter has been martyred, and Polycarp has taken his place as the recognized leader of the Christian movement. Mentored in the mystical optics of the disciple John and appointed Bishop of Smyrna by John, Polycarp is playing a key role in preserving the teachings of the disciples.

“Think about that—when John addressed the church in Smyrna in Revelation 2:8-11, Polycarp would have probably been there. He had lived through and endured the same persecution that John endured at that time.”[2]

During the same time, Valentinus is leading the most well-known Gnostic church of this era, having been mentored by Theudas, one of Paul’s disciples. We know that Paul used the secret texts of Gnosticism to teach those he felt were able to receive them and learn from them.[3] So Valentinus continues Paul’s example, traveling the region and teaching the Gnostic perspectives on Jesus’ message and ministry. Eventually he sets up a school of Christian teaching in Rome.

Polycarp is resistant to the Gnostic teachings, but it is his protégé Bishop Irenaeus who officially declares the Gnostic teachings to be heresy and publicly denounces them as the Church patriarchy shores up its power. As early as about 100CE, Clement the bishop of Rome writes a letter to the church in Corinth establishing himself (and all other bishops, priests, and deacons) as the official mouthpiece of God. He declares that church leaders must be obeyed as one would obey God. And of course, if they do not, there will be the penalty of death. This sets the tone for the Church even before Emperor Theodosius makes the Christian Church a puppet of the state in 383CE. It didn’t take many generations within the early church for their male leaders to claim the voice of God and grasp the power of life and death. Then, as now, religious power tends to seek political power.

Back to the Gnostic church and their developing beliefs. The few accounts of their gatherings come from the words of their opponents: Irenaeus, their most vociferous enemy, gives a window into the worship of Gnostic gatherings. He describes an utter dependency upon the flow of the Spirit in determining four constantly changing roles: priest, bishop, prophet, and reader of scripture.

Lots would be drawn among both men and women to determine who would take which office for the particular gathering: one would be designated to serve as priest for worship, another would serve the sacraments as bishop; another would read the Scriptures, and still others would act as prophet and bring an exhortation to the church community. When they met again the following week, lots would be drawn again so that there was equality and diversity among all offices. This was important to demonstrate God’s presence and guidance in their midst; the lots would determine God’s choice for each gathering.

Here is Irenaeus’ response to their church worship.

How frivolous, how worldly, how merely human it is, without seriousness, without authority, without discipline, as fits their faith! To begin with, it is uncertain who is a catechumen (a baby believer), and who a believer: they all have access equally, they listen equally, they pray equally—even pagans, if any happen to come.… They also share the kiss of peace with all who come, for they do not care how differently they treat topics, if they meet together to storm the citadel of the one only truth.… All of them are arrogant … all offer you gnosis![4]

What Irenaeus forgot is that when we surrender to God’s presence and action in our lives, God is faithful to show up to speak and work through us.[5] But of course, this involves surrender to mystery and trust in God, as well as in our fellow sisters and brothers.

The Scriptures read during Gnostic services would be drawn from many of their gospels such as the book of Thomas. The disciple Thomas wrote down many of Jesus’ sayings in his apostolic teaching. Here is an example: “He who drinks my words with understanding shall be like me, and I shall become him, and the secret things will be revealed.”[6] Gnosis is the root Greek word that brings us Gnostic; its literal translation is “knowledge,” but the Gnostics understood this word much deeper than mere knowledge. They believed gnosis to be both intuitive and relational. It was a self-knowing or insight into one’s inner world as prompted by the Spirit. This was important because only the one who knows oneself through divine insight can carry trustworthy wisdom and leadership.

I want to make a side note before going forward, much of Gnosticism has been misunderstood and this includes their view on the human body. I’m mentioning this because as we talked about earlier, our bodies carry crucial information that speaks to our overall health as a woman. A woman’s body is sacred and needs to be reclaimed in the restoration of humanity’s and creation’s healing.  In Valentinian thought, the human body was a temporary and imperfect container for the soul. He placed the emphasis on spiritual enlightenment and the journey towards rejoining the divine source rather than on physical existence. This perspective encouraged a focus on inner, spiritual development and the pursuit of higher knowledge. As a result, Gnostics viewed the body as an important vessel needing to be honored, yet ultimately transient, aspect of human existence.

The Nag Hammadi Discovery

The final point of history I want to make clear is that when Christianity became the official religion of Rome by Theodosius in the fourth century, this gave bishops the official power they were seeking. Immediately Gnosticism is outlawed, and anyone caught reading the Gnostic Scriptures or participating in Gnostic worship can be killed. As a result, the Gnostic church went underground, and a host of monasteries were searched for their illegal manuscripts.

Many brave monks during this time took sacred Gnostic texts and buried them in clay jars in the Nag Hammadi desert where they remained hidden until the 1950’s when they were found by an Egyptian shepherd. Up until then we did not have access to these priceless wisdom books to enlighten our understanding with the unique insights of these early believers. Instead, we were constrained by the established church to the texts that affirmed their authority.[7] The Nag Hammadi texts were translated over many years, and they are now available to us in book form.

We need to understand that patriarchy fears uncertainty and mystery. Early church leaders—almost entirely men—felt a desperate need to bring cohesiveness around this new-formed religion called Christianity, so they wrote creeds to define exactly what the Christians could and could not believe. They established their control over the laity by creating rules and regulations that ensured their role in determining our good standing with God… despite the Gnostic theme of direct access to God, what Martin Luther would later call the “priesthood of all believers.”[8]

Many profound and important truths were lost when the Gnostic gospels were condemned—perspectives that hold unique significance for our recovery as women. These writers knew that the Supreme Being, as they called the Trinity, consisted of a Mother and a Father who birthed their Son, Christ. Through Dr. Joseph Lumpkin’s research, we know that “Gnosticism teaches that in the beginning a Supreme Being called The Father/Mother, The Divine All, The Origin, The Supreme God, or The Fullness, emanated the element of existence, both visible and invisible. Their intent was not to create but just as light emanates from a flame, so did creation shine forth from God.”[9]

Throughout the various Gnostic gospels, one of the most important representations of God is Sophia, or Lady Wisdom. She is important in the creation of the cosmos and is considered the mother of humanity, the Holy Spirit who comes to bring enlightenment to us. It is telling that the Hebrew word for Spirit, ruach, is feminine. Sophia resides in heaven, known by the Gnostics as the Realm of Fullness, containing The Divine All and the Christ Spirit. She is infinitely in love with humans, expressing compassion and mercy endlessly toward us. We can experience her presence throughout our world, in nature, in another person, in music, in art and poetry, and countless other forms. Sophia embodies our world meaning that divine wisdom is woven into creation itself, shaping our reality.

Can you feel the profound implications of the Godhead being both Mother and Father? When God is a guy, maleness is irrevocably elevated as better, but when both male and female qualities are rooting in the very identity of God, women find the great value and worth long denied them. No longer is an angry male ruler sitting on his heavenly throne, judging us like Zeus. Instead, we experience a benevolent union of male and female energies actively loving us and seeking union with us. One of the greatest losses for women particularly was this fundamental disconnect from our inherent goodness, which we will explore in our first portal. We have been cut off from the feminine grace of an adoring Mother/Father and Sophia.

For the Gnostics this built-in goodness is called the Divine Spark. If you look at the creation story in Genesis, you will recall a familiar passage where God is creating humans in the divine image and calling us good. This means that we were created with a soul that is and will always be imbued with the glory of God. The Gnostics wrote about this Divine Spark as something extraordinarily precious with powerful abilities given to us in our human form. In the Gnostic texts it is referred to as a seed, a pearl, and a “droplet of hidden light.”[10]

Jesus used some of these same metaphors in the canonical gospels. The pearl of great price is found by a merchant who sells all she has to obtain it. The deeper mystery revealed by the Gnostic writers is that this seed, this pearl, this hidden light are not representative of salvation, not a ticket to heaven. Rather, this essential truth is that our being is at its very core hallowed, sacred, and very good. We have the potential for, and are actually invited into, union with God (which we will explore in Portal seven)! This insightful perspective from the Gnostic Archive radically reframes the Christian narrative:

“To the Gnostic, commandments and rules are not salvific; they are not substantially conducive to salvation. Rules of conduct may serve numerous ends, including the structuring of an ordered and peaceful society, and the maintenance of harmonious relations within social groups. Rules, however, are not relevant to salvation; that is brought about only by Gnosis.  Morality is said to consist of an inner integrity arising from the illumination of the indwelling spark. Morality therefore needs to be viewed primarily in temporal and secular terms; it is ever subject to changes and modifications in accordance with the spiritual development of the individual.”[11]

Christians have been kept in the dark concerning the mystical path that these disciples of Jesus want to share with us. The Gnostic gospels help us unlearn some very harmful messages and recover mysteries that were robbed from us. I hope that learning more about the history that gave birth to the Church and its Scriptures will quell any uneasiness you may have over the writings of the Gnostics.

When we read the biblical gospels and the Gnostic gospels together, we begin to get a bigger, more complete story of what it means to follow the Way of Jesus. This is especially important when it comes to the feminine soul because these sacred texts deliver an important message about gender, as you will see.


click for Portal 1: From Original Sin to Original Blessing…

(c) 2025 Kellie Wilder Daley. All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

For footnotes, click here.