Beloved.
quote
~ author
Kellie and I were walking in our neighborhood last week, as we commonly do on balmy summer evenings, and I noticed that in one of the garden beds close to the street there was a lone plant in the mulch… and right behind it was, evidently, the plastic container the plant had came in. The container itself was sort of “planted” behind the plant, and being the kind, tender soul I am, I scoffed at it. Who does that? I exclaimed imperiously.
One of the roles of our life partners is to hold up a mirror and help us see ourselves through someone else’s eyes. Occasionally that view is gratifying, but frequently it’s cringy.
“Maybe that person got a stroke right when they were planting, and they’ve been bedridden ever since!” she shot back with a bit of heat. I was taken aback at her rebuke. I can’t remember my reply, but it was surely some kind of self-justification. The critique stung, and I nursed my “injury” for a while… until I began to realize just how easy it is for me to let small, sharp criticisms roll out of my mouth for all sorts of offenses, real or perceived, that I judge to be unworthy of my social standards. If you’re feeling slightly nauseous about now, please know that I am too!
Since then, I have been painfully aware of the similar gems that I instinctively toss out, not to the offender themselves but to myself or Kellie. The workman who leaves his worksite trashy, the car who swerves into the turning lane last minute but leaves their butt hanging out in the driving lane so that other cars can’t pass, those too busy or uncaring to recycle, etc, etc. How superior I feel, how justified in my judgments. And how completely alien to the spirit of Christ!
Somewhat humbled, I have been pulling at the thread of this ugliness—Where does this evil twin come from? Why do I feel better about myself when I harp on someone else’s transgressions? I’m gentle and gracious with most people, so why this dark underbelly? I think I’ve found my answer: When I get judgy, I am not living in the full measure of my belovedness.
I really do believe I am God’s beloved child. I am convinced that God welcomes me, accepts me, and delights in me. But am I experiencing that life-giving flow into my soul right now? Today? This minute? That’s a different question, and the answer is betrayed by my inner narrative around the inevitable inquiries into my future.
It’s hard when friends ask how the job-hunt is going. I appreciate the expression of solidarity and goodwill, but it’s also a stark reminder that I am currently unloved by our economy. Until someone offers me a position—until they value who I am and what I bring and offer me compensation in return—this world has implicitly judged me to be worthless. Sad but true. I mean, true from an earthly perspective. The world has its value system and is unapologetic for making those values explicit in terms of dollars and esteem. In return, Jesus said that God values what is done in secret, which will be rewarded in God’s world. Moreover, that which gets rewarded in this world will not get rewarded in the next. Hmm, it’s easy to feel some urgency about rewards in American dollars (or Euros if you prefer).
I mention the job thing only as an example of the many voices coming at us every day that assign worth to us… or strip it away. Belief in God’s love is simply not enough; we must experience it. We must drink in such Ent-draughts of divine delight and hilarity with gusto, reveling in the joy mirrored back in Those Eyes! The more satiated we are with God’s love-showers, the less likely we’ll be to feel competitive and critical with the parched souls that surround us. We might even find it easy to be piqued with compassion rather than irritation, to want to cover their nakedness rather than expose it, and to splash the absurd lavishness of Love we are dancing in upon them.
growing your soul
How do you tap into the visceral overload of Belovedness?
serving our world
How do you overflow your Belovedness on those who annoy or disappoint you?
takeaway
Love beyond all Reason.