Communion.
Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.
~ Rumi
Prayer is, for me, an intentional openness to the presence of mystery in my life. Sometimes it is labor, sometimes ecstatic surprise. Sometimes both.
~ Pat Schneider
Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Hearts on Fire
cave series, 3
I originally titled this second stage “silence,” but decided to change it to “communion.” Silence—on both the inside and the outside—is the context for the encounter itself. The more needy your soul is for communion, the more silence you will have to cultivate in order to enter into that space of intimate fellowship. The more you will have to quieten the noise of external busyness and internal distraction. For me, this happens uniquely in a retreat setting, whether that’s in a hermitage or on a backpacking trail.
As we’ve seen in Elijah’s story, his emptying had been pretty thorough by the time he gets to his cave. Journeying out into the wilderness, lying down to die, being resuscitated by an angel (twice), traveling further to reach Mt. Horeb, and then pouring out his sorrow and soul-sickness to God. Now what? How will God respond? Is it time for re-filling yet?
This is a crucial juncture actually, because spoken or unspoken, we carry our own agenda into the cave. And I think God cares about our agenda, but God also knows the deeper, more primal needs of our soul. And that is usually what needs tending first: For Elijah, this means being “mirrored” by God. This is taken from Jesus’ playbook with his disciples, a version of, Who do you say that I am? We all carry an absolutely crucial need to be seen by another and to hear someone else speak our true identity. Elijah’s past sense of identity has been shaken to its core, illustrated by him wrapping his face in his cloak; this is his moment of truth.
The healing of the heart is a mysterious process, and even Elijah’s actual experience here is somewhat cloaked from view. Here’s what we do know: God doesn’t answer Elijah’s complaints directly but responds in a most unexpectedly tender way, giving this faithful man what his soul needed most: mirroring. Oh, how I wish I knew the content of that Gentle Whisper… but I know what it accomplished.
As Elijah reiterates to God his deep discouragement, we sense that God is pouring a healing salve on his soul—something that often takes layers of repetition. Maybe God too repeated the Gentle Whisper; maybe that exchange had several rounds to it. But at the end of the day, Elijah emerges whole, his fractured identity reassembled and renewed. Now he’s ready for the practicalities of a fresh commission.
God surprised me too, addressing the unacknowledged elephant in the room of my soul: a wounded identity. Who do you say that I am? was the cry of my heart too. “Am I a success, or am I a failure? Are you proud of me, or are you disappointed in me? Why has it taken so long for me to find work that is both meaningful and profitable?” The Gentle Whisper soothed my soul, mirroring me back to myself in this place of communion—the photo pictured above. That was my cave. That was my place of healing.
If your soul is feeling raw and uncertain, if your sense of self has been shaken, this is your time! Find your cave, be emptied, and let the Spirit tell you who you are.
growing your soul
Who mirrors you best, and how do you know you can trust the identity that is spoken back over you?
serving our world
Remember that your cave-work—like all spiritual formation—is ultimately for the sake of others.
takeaway
Communion before Commission.