Anger!
Anger is about protecting something vulnerable inside or outside ourselves. Instead of saying, “I am angry,” it can be helpful to say, “Anger is happening.” This can allow us to be curious about our anger rather than wallowing in it.
Experiencing anger is one thing. Knowing how to express it is another. Often, we can find ourselves alternating between rage and stony silence, neither of which is functional. We each must learn, through trial and error, how to voice our anger.
A good question to ask ourselves is, “Are there ways to voice my anger that will benefit me or anyone else?”
~ Mary Pipher, Women Rowing North
Loose cannon? Sacred gift? James said that no one can tame the tongue, and I wonder if he was thinking particularly about words of anger.
Some move naturally and easily to express anger, while others are uncomfortable with the slightest hint. Some wear anger on their sleeve, while others are adept at tamping it way, way down. All of us have a relationship with this primal emotion; do you understand yours?
Is anger inherently bad? Neutral? Good? The scriptures themselves are a bit cryptic on this point: James warns us that “human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (1:20)… and I expect we have all experienced that truth many times over. On the other hand, Jesus himself demonstrated fierce anger in word and deed toward the religious establishment (Mt 23, Mk 11). Finally, Paul counsels us to “be angry and sin not!” (Eph 4:26) Does anyone else find that pithy quip less than helpful? How exactly do we do that? Just where does that line fall?
I am personally grappling with my own relationship with anger these days. It doesn’t take long in life to discover this force as both mysterious and powerful, which explains why it alternately seduces, then terrifies us. I feel both of these at work in myself, yet I find anger more often desolating than consoling. As we know from the Daily Examen, both consolations and desolations are instructive, but the larger arc of spiritual transformation is meant to guide us incrementally toward the consolations of the True Self and its richness.
Like most powerful emotions, our attempts to deny it, cage it, muzzle it, or otherwise control it are generally a fail. Instead, the opportunity for using anger well seems to lie more in acknowledging its voice, listening to its particular message, responding to the insight it offers, and in such ways bleed off the excess energy and pressure that anger tends to hold. In the spirit of respecting our emotions rather than stuffing or unleashing them, they become indeed divine servants and resources in the journey.
Many of us grew up in homes that, recognizing the destructive side of anger, placed it off limits and make it an illegitimate feeling, something to be prayed away, not befriended. But as we grow up—both emotionally and spiritually—we can learn new skills for welcoming all our emotions to the table. Not to rule us, but to speak their truth and contribute to the greater good.
Anger, wisely handled, has the unique potential for directing and fueling righteous action, as we see in Jesus. Anger illuminates our most deeply held values, exposes injustice, and reveals our truest calling. We could say that anger and passion are two sides of the same coin. But here’s the trick: It takes true maturity to engage righteous action in a righteous manner, to pursue the right goals in a right attitude. When we tame that lion, we have unlocked and focused our agency for healing our world. Then you can stick your head inside that giant mouth and feel the tickle of those enormous incisors with confidence. But until that lion is tamed, look out! It can kill you in a skinny minute.
growing your soul
Bring up this topic with a soul friend in the next couple days. Talk about where you are in taming the lion.
serving our world
How could listening to your anger lead you toward your greatest purpose in life?
takeaway
Tame the Beast.